Lonely
by time.forgets
Summary: When Santana corrects her she's not embarrassed, just maybe a little disappointed. She thinks it would be nice to be loved like that. SPOILERS for season 2 finale. Quinn-centric, Brittana.


**Because the Unholy Trinity scene in the last episode was too beautiful to not expand on. SPOILERS for season finale. Please review :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.**

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><p>She knows that technically what they're doing is a sin. She tries to judge, she's tried since she first found out but mostly she's jealous. They have love, they both know and she takes a step back, chucking to herself because she knows it too. Why she's even talking about loneliness to these two she doesn't know. She sinks onto the bed when she realises it because they're the only ones left. The only ones she can talk to.<p>

She doesn't know why they're still either side of her but the position is familiar, from all those times walking down the hall thinking she owned the place, from that first time looking at Mr. Shue and singing, not knowing that that tiny decision would change her life. She thinks that maybe if she could go back she would never audition; the whole thing has been too painful and she wants to go back to when she would have sleepovers with the two girls next to her, feeling their heartbeats when they snuggled up to her and smiling as they talked, about their days, about something on TV, it never mattered with those two, they lit up her room just by smiling at each other.

She's noticed, noticed that they haven't been together as much, haven't been as loud or horrible or flirty as they usually are and she's seen the pain filled gazes they send across the choir room to each other when they think no one's looking. It's kind of pathetic that they think no one knows but she's crying in a hotel in New York so she really can't say anything about it.

When Santana offers to make her feel better she wants to leap away, she wants to be horrified that a suggestion like that was even made to her, that a suggestion like that even existed but mostly it makes her feel warm. She just wants to feel connected to someone, to get rid of this stupid aching loneliness so she considers it for a half second. Then she realises what she's thinking and fires back a biting insult instead.

Well, she tries to but mostly she's just flattered that Santana would do that for her, would share a bit of the kind of love she and Brittany share for one night. When Santana corrects her she's not embarrassed, just maybe a little disappointed. She thinks it would be nice to be loved like that.

She's dragged to the bathroom gently, someone warm hand holding hers and cool hands pressed into her back. She's smiling, slightly and it feels good to let a slight chuckle fall from her lips. She tries to remember what it felt like before Cheerios when it was just the three of them but the memory is so far away so she just concentrates on the two girls moving around her, of warm and cool hands moving through her hair and the quiet sound of the razor as it leaves long blonde pieces of her on the bathroom floor.

When they're jumping up and down, the slightest touch against the others arm, she knows they're done. She still doesn't feel okay, it's like the outburst drained her and she can't physically get excited like her two...can she call them friends yet...are. Instead, she runs a hand through the new short locks. She grabs the ends and pulls until the pressure inside her head Is from that and not the thoughts. At the same time, her hands are pried from her hair and they pull her back to the beds. One hand is warm and one is cold and she smiles at the difference.

They've always moved together so when two bodies press up either side of her, pulling her down to lay between hot and cold she's not surprised. Instead she tries to not start crying again because she's already shown so much weakness lately and she's not sure how much more she can take, tries to focus on breathing and feels the two heartbeats pressing into her tapping out their synchronised rhythm.

She thinks she shouldn't feel so alone when she's this close to people but they've always made anyone around them feel lonely and she hates that despite that she just wants to feel them closer.


End file.
